A half-decent hostel is more than just a stack of beds and a luggage-room. It's the throbbing, sweaty essence of travel, the ecstatic hum of a college dorm, untempered by attendance requirements and impending mid-term exams. Nonetheless, it is an education, an arousal, and for many, an awakening; an introduction to the best and worst aspects of impatient, promiscuous youth.
Even on a quiet night in the bar (or the chill-out room, or the showers on level five), you can see the noses twitching in the pheromone haze. It’s a Guggenheim of body language; a gallery of averted gazes, crossings of the legs, hinted smiles, mirror-honed grins and merciless backs turned on the too-young, the too-drunk, the undesired.
Students from all over the world converge and cohabit and comingle. The schools of Finance, Law and Business dissolve and reunify in Music, Drama, International Relations, the Physics and Philosophy of Sexology. All the guys and girls who never get a look in on campus - the beautiful shy, the ugly drunks, the hopeless romantics, the too-loud, the too-old, the too-much…the untouchables - suddenly find themselves the focus of frenzied hair-twirlings and cheeky whispers between friends.
Why? Why this sudden, sexual utopia amidst the unforgiving tiers of bunk-beds and shared toilets? Is it the alcohol? It certainly plays a part, but there are far greater biological forces at work.
Adventure is not an experience limited only to geographical exploration, and travel, in itself, is not an inherently adventurous undertaking, not in this not-so-Brave New World. But it inspires adventure, physical, emotional and sexual. Travellers are generally an excited, unburdened bunch, glad to be somewhere different, willing to brave a few blind alleys and unsigned roads. Choirboys become cowboys. Nuns turn into nymphs. Morality taken for granted back home is tried before a jury of the senses, interrogated by temptation, cajoled by curiosity, strapped to the bed and gagged by desire.
For many of us, I suspect, the real function of travel is not adventure, but anonymity. Whether on our own, or in a small group of friends, we booked that ticket not only to go somewhere, but to flee the moral and social monotony of life at home, to get away from somewhere. Anonymous, we become less accountable to others and more to ourselves. At home, we're famous. Celebrities, forever paraniod of the paternal papparazzi and fine-tuned friends . The truly bold; those who defy convention and live the traveller's life at home, become infamous. So we buy a ticket. We hop on a plane. We land in the United States of Anonymity or the Island of Invisibility where they confiscate our emotional baggage at customs.
The trick in all this, of course, is to keep that one little idea bouncing away at the back of your brain, long after the sangria has swamped the last of your inhibitions:
Roll it on! That's right. Don't forget the:
Love glove
Willie warmer
Sheath
Raincoat
Cock sock
Johnny bag
Gentleman’s Jerkin
Ie: CONDOM
Even the most beautiful Swedish Gods lose a lot in the light of Hepatitis C and AIDS. Sex is everything, but it's not everything. Pay attention to your own alarm-bells, whatever they are, and survive your Next Big Adventure.
HelloBCN Hostel Barcelona
where the fun never stops
Saturday 29 March 2008
Saturday 8 March 2008
Tourist or Culture Vulture? Find the middle ground.
If you're only in the city for a short period of time, you may mistakenly assume you have a choice to make: Parties or Picasso?
Why? Because Barcelona has a split personality. On the one hand, you have the works of Gaudi, some great galleries and inspiring natural surrounds. Everything a 'Lets get up at 6:am and see everything we possibly can , Darling' traveller needs. But as you stride purposefully from the hostel doors in the pre-dawn light, you'll notice a different species of tourist, the kind that migrates to Barcelona for one of the best night scenes in Europe. The bars open early and close at around 2:30am. Time to go home? No way. The clubs are just kicking off. A good night out in this city will see you back to the hostel just in time for breakfast.
So how does one taste both sides of Barcelona's 'Jekyll and Hyde'? How is it possible to absorb Picasso's many moods along with the ridiculous quantities of alcohol a Barcelona Bar-crawl inevitably inflicts? One word:
Siesta.
Here's an example itinerary:
6:00 am Out the doors for a quick jaunt up Montjuic to get a view of the city as it slumbers in the morning sun.
8:00 Breakfast at the hostel.
10:00 Picasso Museum
12:00pm Packed Lunch and Coffee at Park Guell
2:30 SIESTA! (Keep it between 1 and 2 hours, or you'll wake up feeling stoned)
5:00 Walk the streets of the Barri Gotic
7:00 Tapas
8:30 Flamenco at Tarantos
9:30 Shisha Pipe and coffee at La Concha
10:30 Mojito at Ambar
11:30 Absinthe at Bar Marsella
1:00am Whichever club takes your fancy
4:00 Back to the hostel. Five hours sleep.
9:00 Breakfast
Take the siesta out of the equation, and you might make it through the night, but it'll take you at least another day to recover. Follow the local example, and you'll soon adapt to the demands of this schizophrenic city.
Just as it would be a shame to miss out on a tour through the Sagrada Familia, it is tragic that so many leave without having visited even one of Barcelona's brilliant bars and clubs. Question your idea of travel. Museums and and walking tours provide a sense of a city's history, but it is often the nightlife which reveals most about its youth; its future.
Why? Because Barcelona has a split personality. On the one hand, you have the works of Gaudi, some great galleries and inspiring natural surrounds. Everything a 'Lets get up at 6:am and see everything we possibly can , Darling' traveller needs. But as you stride purposefully from the hostel doors in the pre-dawn light, you'll notice a different species of tourist, the kind that migrates to Barcelona for one of the best night scenes in Europe. The bars open early and close at around 2:30am. Time to go home? No way. The clubs are just kicking off. A good night out in this city will see you back to the hostel just in time for breakfast.
So how does one taste both sides of Barcelona's 'Jekyll and Hyde'? How is it possible to absorb Picasso's many moods along with the ridiculous quantities of alcohol a Barcelona Bar-crawl inevitably inflicts? One word:
Siesta.
Here's an example itinerary:
6:00 am Out the doors for a quick jaunt up Montjuic to get a view of the city as it slumbers in the morning sun.
8:00 Breakfast at the hostel.
10:00 Picasso Museum
12:00pm Packed Lunch and Coffee at Park Guell
2:30 SIESTA! (Keep it between 1 and 2 hours, or you'll wake up feeling stoned)
5:00 Walk the streets of the Barri Gotic
7:00 Tapas
8:30 Flamenco at Tarantos
9:30 Shisha Pipe and coffee at La Concha
10:30 Mojito at Ambar
11:30 Absinthe at Bar Marsella
1:00am Whichever club takes your fancy
4:00 Back to the hostel. Five hours sleep.
9:00 Breakfast
Take the siesta out of the equation, and you might make it through the night, but it'll take you at least another day to recover. Follow the local example, and you'll soon adapt to the demands of this schizophrenic city.
Just as it would be a shame to miss out on a tour through the Sagrada Familia, it is tragic that so many leave without having visited even one of Barcelona's brilliant bars and clubs. Question your idea of travel. Museums and and walking tours provide a sense of a city's history, but it is often the nightlife which reveals most about its youth; its future.
Wednesday 5 March 2008
A Friendly Reminder
Okay, so you've just landed in Barcelona. The cabbie charged you €70 for the half-hour trip into the centre. He drops you at a place he insists serves good, cheap, food and you end up forking out another thrity-five big-ones for a jug of old Pepsi, a stale baguette and yesterday's tortillia special. On the way to your hostel, a really friendly young guy approaches you. Just a kid really. Isn't he cute? The way he keeps saying 'You like football? Look. Ronaldinho! Football. Football!', pretending to dribble a ball around you? You reach for you camera to preserve the occasion, but it's gone. So is your wallet. So is your watch. So is the cute little kid.
Don't blame yourself. It's very easy to get ripped off when you first arrive in Barcelona. In any city. It still sucks though, doesn't it? Here are some tips gleaned from the experience of those who got ripped off for your benefit.
Staying Safe and Financially Sound in Barcelona
1: Trains and Buses
Bus: It's easy. Step out of any of the terminals at BCN, and the bus stops are immediately apparent. If you have any trouble, there are plenty of people ready to help you.
Cost: €3,90
Train: If you're arriving between 5 am and 11 pm, consider taking the train. Just follow the signs from the airport. At the time of writing, a bus shuttle will take you from the terminals to the train station, due to construction works, and the train is free, compensation for putting you to the 'inconvenience'. Get off at Sants Estacio and ask the helpful staff in red 'information' vests to direct you to the metro. If you're staying at HelloBCN Hostel, take the green line to Parallel. See our website: www.hellobcnhostel.com for more detailed instructions.
Cost: Train from Airport to Sants Estacio - €2,50
Metro ticket - €1,30
A cab to the centre from BCN airport should cost you no more than €30, even at four in the morning. If your driver demands more, ignore him or her, walk straight into the hostel and tell reception what's going on. The drivers get a lot of business from hostels, so they won't push the issue too far after that. Girona Airort: If you've taken the Girona Airport option, ignore cabs altogether. It's a 1.5 hour bus trip to the centre, and if you're staying at a hostel, you'd probably prefer to spend €100 in far less practical ways. The bus will cost you about €12.00.
2: It sounds obvious, but BOOK A ROOM BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF!
In summer, you'll be lucky to get a hostel bed unless you book well in advance, especially if there are more than one of you. If the net sites tell you everything's already taken, try ringing the hostels directly. Your alternatives are lonely, €300 night rooms, well out of the centre, or cosy naps in the park with all your new homeless buddies. Not necessarily a bad experience, but I can't exactly vouch for your wellbeing.
3: Leave the Passport at Home
Book a bed at a hostel with good lockers and front-door security. Don't walk around with your passport. In the unlikely event you get stopped by the city's finest, and they ask for your passport, tell them you didn't want to risk losing it. I'm yet to hear of someone being fined for not carrying their passport.
4: Getting Home Safe
Barcelona has an exaggerated reputation for being a bit of a dodgy place. Personally, I've seen far more aggression amongst drunk university students in Melbourne, Australia than I ever have in BCN. In general, the people over here are a fairly laid-back bunch. Crime tends to be restricted to petty theft, and if you chase people for long enough, you might even get your new camcorder back in one piece, but I don't recommend it. Chase them into the wrong area, and the cost of a new Sony will soon seem insignificant.
Barcelona has another reputation, this one well-deserved, for offering some of the best night-life you could wish for. This means, of course, that you could well find yourself a bit vulnerable during the long, confusing walk home. If you're drunk, catch a cab, or walk with someone else. And while sticking in groups is generally far safer, the number of English Bucks-partiers who come back sans wallet and passport is frightening.
SINGLE WOMEN: If you're a chick, and you're here by yourself, make some friends (another great reason to stay at a hostel) and party with others. While you'd be unlucky to experience anything worse than a frightened stalker, you could land yourself in a bit of trouble if you provide the wrong dude with the right opportunity.
Streets to avoid late at night, or when alone...
C. de Sant Pau (especially at Sant Ramon intersection (Raval): One of my favourite streets, and home to the famous Bar Marsella and the wonderful La Confiteria, it is full of characters, shady and otherwise. It also provides access to many smaller, equally dodgy Raval streets with equally brilliant venues. Walk it, and avoid it, at your peril.
Corner of C. Escudellers & C. Vidre/Nou de Sant Francesc (Barri Gotic): Every corner of this tiny intersection is occupied by at least one drug dealer. The centre of it is haunted by a team of professional pickpockets who have absolutely no qualms in swarming virtually every non-local who passes by. Be aggressive. Yell at them. They don't want any trouble, they just want your money. And a warning...if you fancy yourself as a bit of a tough guy, even of the shortest of them will delight in luring you into a fight so they can rob you while you try to hit them. If your really ARE tough, keep your fists in your pockets. Fight one of them, you fight all of them, and those are knives in their back pockets.
5: Street Scams
There are too many street scams in operation to describe here. For detailed information, visit the 'Street Scams' link: http://www.jones.tc/barna/scams.html (Note: it is a text only site. You will need to scroll down befor you see any information).
Basic Principles
Keep them away: If you are approached by people you don't know, keep them at a distance. A pickpocket needs to get close to you. Therefore, be particularly careful in circumstances which force you in to crowded environments, such as trains, buses, crowded streets and bars. Remember: Kids, women and the elderly make some of the best thieves, simply because we mistakenly assume they could never do us any harm.
Carry only as much cash as you need. You can always withdraw more later.
Get into the habit of using your locker, even when you're in the room. Theives will happily rob you while you sleep.
Don't gamble on the street. You WILL be cheated.
Keep your heart open, but your wallet closed. You will hear many sob-stories from many talented actors. An ability to speak German, or a pretty face, or a foreign accent does not mean their story is legitimate. Offer to buy them food instead, and see if they're still interested, but don't hand over cash.
6. Shopping
As in cities all over the world, businesses on the main streets generally pay a lot more rent and charge a lot more than places - often just around the corner - offering better products or services. Consult your travel guides for good deals, but better yet, ask the hostel staff.
7. Don't be scared!
Barcelona is a wonderful city. It would be a shame to miss it just because of a few petty crims. With a bit of common sense, you will avoid being ripped off and have a fantastic time.
Don't blame yourself. It's very easy to get ripped off when you first arrive in Barcelona. In any city. It still sucks though, doesn't it? Here are some tips gleaned from the experience of those who got ripped off for your benefit.
Staying Safe and Financially Sound in Barcelona
1: Trains and Buses
Bus: It's easy. Step out of any of the terminals at BCN, and the bus stops are immediately apparent. If you have any trouble, there are plenty of people ready to help you.
Cost: €3,90
Train: If you're arriving between 5 am and 11 pm, consider taking the train. Just follow the signs from the airport. At the time of writing, a bus shuttle will take you from the terminals to the train station, due to construction works, and the train is free, compensation for putting you to the 'inconvenience'. Get off at Sants Estacio and ask the helpful staff in red 'information' vests to direct you to the metro. If you're staying at HelloBCN Hostel, take the green line to Parallel. See our website: www.hellobcnhostel.com for more detailed instructions.
Cost: Train from Airport to Sants Estacio - €2,50
Metro ticket - €1,30
A cab to the centre from BCN airport should cost you no more than €30, even at four in the morning. If your driver demands more, ignore him or her, walk straight into the hostel and tell reception what's going on. The drivers get a lot of business from hostels, so they won't push the issue too far after that. Girona Airort: If you've taken the Girona Airport option, ignore cabs altogether. It's a 1.5 hour bus trip to the centre, and if you're staying at a hostel, you'd probably prefer to spend €100 in far less practical ways. The bus will cost you about €12.00.
2: It sounds obvious, but BOOK A ROOM BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF!
In summer, you'll be lucky to get a hostel bed unless you book well in advance, especially if there are more than one of you. If the net sites tell you everything's already taken, try ringing the hostels directly. Your alternatives are lonely, €300 night rooms, well out of the centre, or cosy naps in the park with all your new homeless buddies. Not necessarily a bad experience, but I can't exactly vouch for your wellbeing.
3: Leave the Passport at Home
Book a bed at a hostel with good lockers and front-door security. Don't walk around with your passport. In the unlikely event you get stopped by the city's finest, and they ask for your passport, tell them you didn't want to risk losing it. I'm yet to hear of someone being fined for not carrying their passport.
4: Getting Home Safe
Barcelona has an exaggerated reputation for being a bit of a dodgy place. Personally, I've seen far more aggression amongst drunk university students in Melbourne, Australia than I ever have in BCN. In general, the people over here are a fairly laid-back bunch. Crime tends to be restricted to petty theft, and if you chase people for long enough, you might even get your new camcorder back in one piece, but I don't recommend it. Chase them into the wrong area, and the cost of a new Sony will soon seem insignificant.
Barcelona has another reputation, this one well-deserved, for offering some of the best night-life you could wish for. This means, of course, that you could well find yourself a bit vulnerable during the long, confusing walk home. If you're drunk, catch a cab, or walk with someone else. And while sticking in groups is generally far safer, the number of English Bucks-partiers who come back sans wallet and passport is frightening.
SINGLE WOMEN: If you're a chick, and you're here by yourself, make some friends (another great reason to stay at a hostel) and party with others. While you'd be unlucky to experience anything worse than a frightened stalker, you could land yourself in a bit of trouble if you provide the wrong dude with the right opportunity.
Streets to avoid late at night, or when alone...
C. de Sant Pau (especially at Sant Ramon intersection (Raval): One of my favourite streets, and home to the famous Bar Marsella and the wonderful La Confiteria, it is full of characters, shady and otherwise. It also provides access to many smaller, equally dodgy Raval streets with equally brilliant venues. Walk it, and avoid it, at your peril.
Corner of C. Escudellers & C. Vidre/Nou de Sant Francesc (Barri Gotic): Every corner of this tiny intersection is occupied by at least one drug dealer. The centre of it is haunted by a team of professional pickpockets who have absolutely no qualms in swarming virtually every non-local who passes by. Be aggressive. Yell at them. They don't want any trouble, they just want your money. And a warning...if you fancy yourself as a bit of a tough guy, even of the shortest of them will delight in luring you into a fight so they can rob you while you try to hit them. If your really ARE tough, keep your fists in your pockets. Fight one of them, you fight all of them, and those are knives in their back pockets.
5: Street Scams
There are too many street scams in operation to describe here. For detailed information, visit the 'Street Scams' link: http://www.jones.tc/barna/scams.html (Note: it is a text only site. You will need to scroll down befor you see any information).
Basic Principles
Keep them away: If you are approached by people you don't know, keep them at a distance. A pickpocket needs to get close to you. Therefore, be particularly careful in circumstances which force you in to crowded environments, such as trains, buses, crowded streets and bars. Remember: Kids, women and the elderly make some of the best thieves, simply because we mistakenly assume they could never do us any harm.
Carry only as much cash as you need. You can always withdraw more later.
Get into the habit of using your locker, even when you're in the room. Theives will happily rob you while you sleep.
Don't gamble on the street. You WILL be cheated.
Keep your heart open, but your wallet closed. You will hear many sob-stories from many talented actors. An ability to speak German, or a pretty face, or a foreign accent does not mean their story is legitimate. Offer to buy them food instead, and see if they're still interested, but don't hand over cash.
6. Shopping
As in cities all over the world, businesses on the main streets generally pay a lot more rent and charge a lot more than places - often just around the corner - offering better products or services. Consult your travel guides for good deals, but better yet, ask the hostel staff.
7. Don't be scared!
Barcelona is a wonderful city. It would be a shame to miss it just because of a few petty crims. With a bit of common sense, you will avoid being ripped off and have a fantastic time.
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