According to statistics I just made up, at least twenty percent of homicides committed by travellers are provoked by some half-pissed, inconsiderate cretin rummaging through a suitcase full of plastic bags at 4:30am, looking for a boarding pass that was in their back pocket the whole time.
Yes, dorms can have their downside, but even if you gave me five hundred bucks a night to spend on a room, I´d still book myself into the local hostel. I travel to meet people, not to hide from them in the so-called luxury of a sound-proofed hotel room and the lonely love of an overpriced mini-bar. And more and more people, it seems, are converting to hostelism. It´s a great thing, but there are those who experience difficulty when making the transition to the more spartan hostel lifestyle. For those accustomed to five star privacy, it can take a while to become familiar with dorm-room etiquette. So for those of you new to the world of communal living, there are a few cardinal rules. Observe them, and you´ll be embraced by your fellow travellers. Ignore them and incur their frequently imaginative wrath.
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Dorm-room Dos and Donts
Bad feet? Store your stinky shoes and toxic socks outside. Give your footsies a scrub before you hit the hostel bar. Travel with a second pair of footwear (thongs are great), so you have something clean to put on once you return from your two hour hike up to the Russian consulate in the thirty-five degree heat to organise another replacement visa after having had your pockets picked by a gang of transvestites on Rue De Sant Pau for the second time in three days.
Respect the Shhhhhhh! The key here is to keep your belongings well organised, so you don´t wake everyone one up with your drunken fumblings. The needless rustling of plastic bags in the morning can drive a calm man to even calmer murder.
Party Animals: Getting plastered, for better or worse, is a prioritiy for many of us. Remember, the toilets are across the hall, not in your bunk-mate´s laptop bag.
Malicious Music: Not everyone will appreciate the sheer brilliance of your favourite death metal compilation. Ask before plugging your ipod into your four billion gigawatt portable speakers. If you like falling asleep to the sweet, soft melodies of Marilyn Manson, keep the volume of your headphones below 11.
Snoring: People snore. Get over it. In general, it´s a habit they have very little control over. If it´s a serious problem, request a change of rooms. Not possible? Buy some decent ear-plugs.
