Now here's a love story...
I know a guy who, at the age of twenty-nine was yet to kiss a girl. Luck was on his side though; his uncle died and left him heaps and heaps of cash. A week later, he had a round-the-world ticket in his hand, complete with scheduled stopovers in Syria, Nepal, North America and Europe.
Six-months down the track, his hard-earned desert tan paled by a week in London, he stood waiting in Heathrow´s Terminal A for his flight home. He turned and gazed at the woman beside him, a friend of a friend who had let him doss on the living-room floor of her Brixton flat for three nights. In his words: 'I suddenly realised I didn't really want to leave'. He had fallen in love.
So then...what do you do when the guy or girl of your dreams lives on the other side of the world? Two options: You either say goodbye to your flight home or say hello to the Long Distance Relationship.
Those of you currently surfing the hostel circuit could well find yourself having to make such a decision before your trip ends. Hostel life exposes you to a whole world of like-minded people, and for many, it's the most adventurous phase of their lives. They open themselves to interaction and experimentation to an unprecedented degree. Polish metal workers flirt with New Zealand viticulture students. Egyptian gynaecology freshmen shag Canadian pharmacology graduates. Admit it: At least part of the attraction of travel lies in its romantic possibilities.
Long-distance relationships. Frustrating bloody things. Trust, temptation and timezones conspire to sabotage love's attempt to hold hands across the Pacific. Face it. For all you know, lover Johnny's latest pledge of eternal devotion could have been written with the aid of Kimiko and Ukio, the nineteen year-old Japanese foreign exchange students he so generously lets stay in his one-bedroom apartment for free.
I know a guy who, at the age of twenty-nine was yet to kiss a girl. Luck was on his side though; his uncle died and left him heaps and heaps of cash. A week later, he had a round-the-world ticket in his hand, complete with scheduled stopovers in Syria, Nepal, North America and Europe.
Six-months down the track, his hard-earned desert tan paled by a week in London, he stood waiting in Heathrow´s Terminal A for his flight home. He turned and gazed at the woman beside him, a friend of a friend who had let him doss on the living-room floor of her Brixton flat for three nights. In his words: 'I suddenly realised I didn't really want to leave'. He had fallen in love.
So then...what do you do when the guy or girl of your dreams lives on the other side of the world? Two options: You either say goodbye to your flight home or say hello to the Long Distance Relationship.
Those of you currently surfing the hostel circuit could well find yourself having to make such a decision before your trip ends. Hostel life exposes you to a whole world of like-minded people, and for many, it's the most adventurous phase of their lives. They open themselves to interaction and experimentation to an unprecedented degree. Polish metal workers flirt with New Zealand viticulture students. Egyptian gynaecology freshmen shag Canadian pharmacology graduates. Admit it: At least part of the attraction of travel lies in its romantic possibilities.
Long-distance relationships. Frustrating bloody things. Trust, temptation and timezones conspire to sabotage love's attempt to hold hands across the Pacific. Face it. For all you know, lover Johnny's latest pledge of eternal devotion could have been written with the aid of Kimiko and Ukio, the nineteen year-old Japanese foreign exchange students he so generously lets stay in his one-bedroom apartment for free.
Assuming that your faith isn't quite so badly placed, gain comfort from the fact that things are a bit easier for long-distance lovers these days. The advent of instant messaging and free conference-call providers like Skype free us from the infuriations of the frequently unreliable international mail system. The postal service still has it's place, of course. It's fantastic to get a hand-written letter from anyone; an obscenely graphic description of your Austrian lover's latest sexual fantasy, scrawled breathlessly in red ink onto paper perfumed by her sweat...well that beats an email any day.
The downside of all that heated correspondence is the incredible sexual tenision that accumulates. A guy I work with recently made a vow of temporary celibacy in preparation for a trip to Greece to meet an old flame. The metamorphosis has been extraordinary. He used to be a gentle, relaxed creature; the very picture of post-coital calm. Now, he's all chest out, bear-hugging, bum-slapping, boom-voiced, vein-popping, beer-sculling, head-butting insanity. I truly fear for the well-being of the poor, unsuspecting girl waiting for him in Athens.
Not all of us have such immense self-discipline. Maybe an 'open' relationship is the way to go. I put the 'open' in inverted commas because ironically, open relationships are anything but. There aren't all that many people who would want to know about their partner's latest Brazilian conquests, so some element of secrecy is bound to play a part in any such arrangement. And think about it...you're lonely and horny. You meet a great, funny girl at a friend's party. You get to talking... about your girlfriend. About how it's been so long. About how hard it is. Your mate's friend is very sympathetic. She puts her hand on your thigh, looks into your eyes and says 'I don't know how you do it'. A few nights later, you're still shagging like crazy, and while technically you're not doing anything wrong, Rio suddenly seems a lot further away.
Don't get discouraged. There are some wonderful ways to maintain sexual intrigue and satisfaction in a long-distance relationship. It just takes a little effort. While my boss wouldn't be too happy with me going into details, I heartily recommend:
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html
Just a WARNING!
It's a fairly explicit site. Scroll down towards the bottom to find the part relevant to long-distance relationships.
The internet is full of advice on how to deal with long-distance longing. There are also many excellent books written on the subject. Hopefully, your guy or girl is worth a little further investigation.
In case you haven't already guessed, I'm in a long-distance relationship of my own at the moment. I'm luckier than some. A lot of people - soldiers, journalists, aid workers, for example - have to endure far longer periods apart. Martina and I get to see each other about once a month, and we're doing okay, but writing this article has made me realise there's a lot more I could be doing to make it fun. In a week or so, she'll start receiving some very interesting letters in the mail.
When things are getting rough, don't just give up. If you made the decision to undertake a long-distance relationship, chances are the girl or guy is worth it. Communicate regularly. Talk about your intimate thoughts and feelings. Remind your partner of how much you miss them, but be positive and share your happier moments as well. A person who is having fun is generally more attractive than a manic depressive (Ok, ok...not always).
Look, this is a big issue, and I'd hate to think that any rash decisions were made on the basis of this drunk blogger's ramblings. Do your research. Dig around on the net. You'll find that - with a bit of effort- a long-distance relationship can be a lot of fun.
Lovers...
Good luck.
x
Not all of us have such immense self-discipline. Maybe an 'open' relationship is the way to go. I put the 'open' in inverted commas because ironically, open relationships are anything but. There aren't all that many people who would want to know about their partner's latest Brazilian conquests, so some element of secrecy is bound to play a part in any such arrangement. And think about it...you're lonely and horny. You meet a great, funny girl at a friend's party. You get to talking... about your girlfriend. About how it's been so long. About how hard it is. Your mate's friend is very sympathetic. She puts her hand on your thigh, looks into your eyes and says 'I don't know how you do it'. A few nights later, you're still shagging like crazy, and while technically you're not doing anything wrong, Rio suddenly seems a lot further away.
Don't get discouraged. There are some wonderful ways to maintain sexual intrigue and satisfaction in a long-distance relationship. It just takes a little effort. While my boss wouldn't be too happy with me going into details, I heartily recommend:
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm_scenarios.html
Just a WARNING!
It's a fairly explicit site. Scroll down towards the bottom to find the part relevant to long-distance relationships.
The internet is full of advice on how to deal with long-distance longing. There are also many excellent books written on the subject. Hopefully, your guy or girl is worth a little further investigation.
In case you haven't already guessed, I'm in a long-distance relationship of my own at the moment. I'm luckier than some. A lot of people - soldiers, journalists, aid workers, for example - have to endure far longer periods apart. Martina and I get to see each other about once a month, and we're doing okay, but writing this article has made me realise there's a lot more I could be doing to make it fun. In a week or so, she'll start receiving some very interesting letters in the mail.
When things are getting rough, don't just give up. If you made the decision to undertake a long-distance relationship, chances are the girl or guy is worth it. Communicate regularly. Talk about your intimate thoughts and feelings. Remind your partner of how much you miss them, but be positive and share your happier moments as well. A person who is having fun is generally more attractive than a manic depressive (Ok, ok...not always).
Look, this is a big issue, and I'd hate to think that any rash decisions were made on the basis of this drunk blogger's ramblings. Do your research. Dig around on the net. You'll find that - with a bit of effort- a long-distance relationship can be a lot of fun.
Lovers...
Good luck.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment